Dealing with Abandonment & turning it around for your good!

Quote: Abandonment does not feel good in the beginning, but give it time and you will see it was the best elimination that you did not ask for!    
-LWB Butterfly 🦋 


Graduating into a New Zone: Dealing with Abandonment & turning it around for your good!

Quote: You left me thinking that was the best thing for you, but really it was the best thing for me! -LWB Butterfly 🦋 

Abandonment is labeled as such a taboo type of action, because it does represent giving up, discontinuing, and withdrawing from someone or something. If we are not careful, we will fall into self pity or a “woe is me” mentality. When a person chooses to leave you, they have tapped themselves out of that situation, and it has nothing to do with you. I had to discover that for myself. I had to realize that just because I was abandoned by the person I loved, did not mean I was supposed to abandon myself as well. I had to learn how to graduate from that situation in order for me to move into a new zone in my life. If I did not develop this mentality I would have staid stuck in a state of mind that was causing me to have issues with something that I did not create. Abandonment causes people to question who they are, and why were they left high and dry, when, in reality we should not take on that emotional trauma because of what was done to us. I had to deal with the signs that I was seeing within myself after I felt that I was worthless after being abandoned. First, please understand you are not alone, their are billions of people just like you who battle with this self-destructive issue, because of their belief of what emotional abandonment can cause. It leaves a person feeling abstract and can make them feel unwanted, undesired, rejected, insecure, and even damaged. Abandonment is a beast that is hard to remove, but you can get rid of it if you want to. Only you can make a decision to say, “I will not be emotionally traumatized by someone leaving me anymore”. It does not matter who the someone is. Learn to say “I will not cut myself off from the world and people because of one person deciding to change their lifestyle”. Yes you may be affected because you have to adjust things in your life, but we have to understand that life is always evolving. Nothing is expected to stay the same. Learn not to withdraw, not put yourself in the state of erosion. Become a person who can graduate from  emotional abandonment and all the scenarios that attached to it, and to be a person who wants to detach from the attachment that causes you to feel insignificant. Start to deprogram and break the bonding thoughts from your brain and reprogram them from those emotional barriers. Find a way to strengthen yourself. I personally know powerful poets who found a way to release their pain on paper by using strong verbiage to express their experiences from emotional abandonment. Learn to become a person who really knows how to turn lemons into lemonade. Dig deep into your own soul and identify the signs of abandonment and address these emotional issues. This process takes time, and you must deal with them one step at a time in order for your new energy to take place. Here are a few tips to remember and identify when dealing with emotional abandonment.
  1. Don’t do this alone, get some professional support. Professionals will help you to navigate through this process.
  2. Don’t attach yourself too quickly Graduate into a New Zone: Deal with Abandonment & then turn it around for your good!
  3. Don’t move to the next relationship too quickly,  because you are hurt. You will find yourself back in a vulnerable place again.
  4. Don’t be a pleaser all the time. You deserve to be pleased as well. Allow others to be your overflow.
  5. Don’t settle, you probably should have left first.
  6. Don’t look for everyone to abandon you and try to find issues with them because of your experience with someone in your past.
  7. Don’t be to cautious when you open yourself back up to people.
I had to discovered that my needs matter, and I needed to know how to understand myself so that who I am around will know how to connect with me. The model from Maslow Hierarchy gives a great balance of how we should measure our needs. The big question you must ask yourself is  “Are you ready to graduate from your emotional abandonment?”
Learn to remove unworthiness, insecurity, distrust, and the fear of not being good enough. You deserve it! 

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